Celebrating 34 Years of Mutual Love and Growth

“To my son…I pray you are so much stronger than me. I pray you never accept the things I have accepted. I pray you fight for what is right, what’s worthy of you and nothing less. I pray you always know your worth, and you know that I needed you more than you will ever need me.” – author unknown 

 My oldest son turns 34 years old today! He entered the world around dinner time on July 6, 1990, at Bozeman Deaconess Hospital. He had a mop of light red hair and immediately started screaming as he was being cleaned up and prepared to be held and kissed by his parents. I was twenty-two years old, and my husband was twenty-five years old, and it was the first child for both of us. We were students at MSU-Bozeman, both going to school full-time and working side jobs to pay the bills. Life was full of possibilities, and we were both too naïve to fully understand that becoming parents would forever change our lives in the best way possible, as well as bring many sleepless nights, worries and fears. 

I remember leaving the hospital and my husband loading our newborn son into the backseat of our 1984, red, two door, Z28 Camaro, an EXCELLENT family car. We lived in married student housing and had the baby’s nursery set up in the small spare bedroom. Having a newborn baby was like buying a puppy because it took less than ten minutes of us being alone with him to wonder, “what the hell have we done” and “are we qualified” to be parents? Well, what we did was obvious, and the answer to the second thought was NO! We were not qualified, but parenting is an all-hands-on deck, learn as you go experience so despite our lack of qualifications, it was a done deal. 

There has not been a day go by over the past thirty-four years when I have not thought about my son, worried about my son, or smiled at memories from his childhood. My son was the most loving, kind, and responsible little human being. From the age of four years old, our main cause of disagreement was fighting with him to go to bed because he wanted to stay up and watch the 10:00 p.m. news every night. He also wanted to read his dad’s history textbooks (my husband taught high school social studies and economics). My son was a smart child, and he knew from an incredibly early age that he wanted to be an attorney, like by age 8 he set this career goal. He has always had a very tender heart and was a kind and loving child who adored his baby brother, his parents, and his grandparents. One of my favorite memories of him as a child involved taking him and his brother on a much-anticipated family vacation to Flintstone Land in South Dakota. When we rolled up to the Flintstone Land parking lot and were met with a giant Dino towering over the park, all he could do was scream, “Oh my God” in the backseat of the car for a good five minutes until he and his little brother were freed to run into the park and meet his cartoon idols. He grew from a very stubborn, loving, little person into a kind, responsible, and determined man, who is an attorney. 

I have seen a quote on the internet, and it states something to the effect that your oldest child grows up with their mom while the youngest gets raised by her and that hit home.  That precious, red-headed, little boy helped me to grow up.  I wish I had been more mature when he was young.  I wish I had had more patience when he was young.  Most of all, I wish I would have been more present and had realized how precious each minute, hour, and day of his childhood was because it goes by way too quickly.  I will always cherish tucking him into bed when he was little and wishing him a good night’s sleep to be answered every night with a “sweet dreams to you too mama.”  

No one is perfect though. If I had one thing that I would change about my son, or that he could improve upon, it would be to immediately respond to my texts and the unreasonable amount of Instagram reels I send him so that I do not have to assume he has been kidnapped or that he is injured in an alley waiting for me to find him.  Happy birthday my sweet boy. I love you oodles, am so immensely proud of you, and I have always needed you more than you will have ever needed me (thank you).