Hurry Up and Slow Down

I spent my formative and young adult years hurrying. I was in a hurry to graduate from high school. Then I was in a hurry to graduate from college and get a professional job. I hurried to appear successful to those around me and then I hurried to collect things to prove my point. I remember thinking that a new car or moving from an apartment into a house we owned would really feel good and be measures of being on the right path in life. Next came vacations, a bigger house, investments, and you get the picture.

Things never quite filled the “hurry up” emptiness and some of the absolute best memories I have involve having very little. After graduating from MSU-Bozeman, my husband Aaron accepted a teaching job in a small town in Eastern Montana named Rosebud. We excitedly loaded up a small U-Haul and Aaron’s Camaro and moved into a musty, basement apartment in Forsyth, Montana. We did not have a shower, only a bathtub and in addition to the bathtub being used for bathing, it also served as the drain for the washing machine. We killed spiders the size of small birds in that basement and we were never able to take a pair of shoes out of our bedroom closet without first dumping the cement flakes out of them due to the old walls constantly flaking off and into our belongings. I sprayed poison into our counter seams to kill red ants that refused to die (as did we apparently…not a great place unleash poison). We entered the apartment from the back of the house and down a steep, old flight of stairs. I do not know how we managed to haul our possessions down those stairs, but we did.

In 1992, despite having a four-year college degree and being licensed as a teacher, Aaron’s job at Rosebud paid $16,500 a year and I worked full-time as a special education aide at Rosebud High School for way less than Aaron made as a teacher. We were both paid once a month. On pay day, we would load our son into his red wagon and walk to the Dairy Queen in Forsyth to treat the family to a dinner out and it was heavenly. If we ever needed a change of routine, we would use our monthly meal out to go to the Longhorn Bar in Rosebud. Gary and Glenna served the best food in the world, including homemade blue cheese dressing and rolls. Another appreciated feature of our time at Rosebud Schools was that Aaron and I both got to eat the school lunches – homemade cooking that was unbelievably good. It was usually the school lunch that was our main meal of the day and believe me, it was not a hardship. We looked forward to lunch every day and just reminiscing about the lunches at Rosebud High School in the 1990’s makes my mouth water. So, despite the living conditions in the basement in Forsyth, our years as part of the Rosebud community were the best. So many good memories filled with wonderful people and not things. I wish that as a young person, I would have better understood that I was living in a period of my life that would be something that I one day referred to as “the good old days.”  I wish I had slowed down more and been less interested in trying to impress others with what I owned, what I did, or who I was.

Fast forward thirty plus years and we now have a weekly Hello Fresh subscription and we can eat out whenever we want. We do not have to rely on Aaron’s uncanny packing abilities to try and haul our belongings in an old Camaro, we get to experience travel and family activities that do not involve an old red wagon and a $10 limit per meal, and we are interested in minimizing not adding to our things. Today, I understand that I will look back on this time in my life and miss what I take for granted today. I will miss the health I have today, I will miss friends and family who are no longer with me, and I will miss whatever stage of life my family and I are currently experiencing. Today, I put forth more of an effort to slow down and really be present for the moments that unfold. Kudos to Archie and Edith Bunker who may have known way before I did that “those were the days”!