Personal Happiness is a Choice, Not a Destination: be happy now

I spent the past two days in the Livingston, MT area of southwest Montana.  I was asked to deliver a presentation to federal and state defense attorneys on clinical assessments for substance use disorders and treatment. The presentation was fine, but the scenery was magnificent.  The Paradise Valley is stunning, and it leads to Yellowstone National Park, one of my favorite places in the world.  I saw eagles, mule deer and scenery that looked like it belonged on a post card. 

As I drove towards the meeting location at Chico Hot Springs, I was thinking about growing up in western Montana and how much I loved the mountains.  I never imagined that living in eastern Montana was going to be a long-term deal for me.  My husband and I both grew up in western Montana and that is where our families were.  I thought back to the phone call in May of 1992 that brought my husband a job offer to teach junior high and high school history and government at a small school in Rosebud, Montana, located about 45 miles southwest of Miles City.  I had postponed my college graduation so I could take my last two classes over the summer so that we could keep our student housing in Bozeman.  That job offer was the answer to many sleepless nights, anxiety about the future, and endless prayers.    Living in eastern Montana was never in my plans, but neither was starving, so we loaded up the 84’ Z28 Camaro and headed east.  The further east from Bozeman we drove, the smaller the mountains appeared in our rearview mirror.  The mountains disappeared when we turned onto I94 at Billings.

A life lesson that continues to present itself to me throughout my journey is that I am free to make all the plans and hold all the expectations I want, but life operates on its own terms.  Life constantly presents changes, some good and some bad, but change is constant.  My job is to allow for, and make room for, the changes that come my way.  By holding space for change and allowing the universe to flow, I can focus on what I have control over.  What I have control over, and am 100% responsible for, is my reaction to change and my own mindset of happiness.   For me, this is a lifelong pursuit that will never be executed perfectly, but it is an approach that has helped me be internally happy, despite whatever changes life brings. The last thing I want to do is waste non-refundable time waiting for conditions to be perfect (in my mind) before I allow for happiness.    

I have lived in eastern Montana for almost 32 years and despite the lack of mountains, I value the quality of life and beauty that is found in eastern Montana. Like the cactus that dots the prairies of eastern Montana, I too have the ability to bloom out here.