My first “real” job involved me crawling up and down rows of vegetables to hand pull weeds at a commercial farming operation that was 14 miles from my home in Stevensville, MT. I was 15 years old and very excited to have the opportunity to earn my own money, and get to drive to work each day. The world was wide open and I was going to have money to go shopping at Southgate Mall in Missoula. After approximately 2 hours of crawling through the dirt under a hot sun, my enthusiasm faded and I no longer cared about the Ghostbuster sweatshirt I had planned on buying at Hennessey’s. I quit after one week’s time and used my entire paycheck (around $80) to buy the Ghostbuster sweatshirt, a pair of Asics Tiger athletic shoes, and an Orange Julius at Southgate Mall. I was unemployed, but hydrated and looking good.
The novelty of spending my own money and being an adult with a job has worn off over the years and like many individuals my age (56 years), I am interested in working smarter, not harder. I am interested in considering what slowing down can and will look like for me. I am also interested in retirement calculators, the advice of my financial advisor, and still figuring out how to travel, eat pasta and experience cool things.
Even though my weed pulling career was a flop, it still helped me reach an easily identified goal of getting that Ghostbuster sweatshirt. Flash forward 41 years and I am now trying to buy time, security, and peace of mind, all of which can’t be seen, held or worn. I have no control over knowing with any accuracy, what the future holds. How long will I live? How long will my husband live? Should I be wearing skinny jeans at my age? Will I be diagnosed with a disease that makes it impossible for me to work in my 50’s? What if I work until I am 67 in order to obtain full social security and I die 6 days later? Have I worked this hard to only come this far? What would happen if I stopped dying my hair? How much money am I willing to lose when I consider different retirement options at varying ages? How old is too old to go on Tower of Terror at Disney World and should I even be going to Disney World? How the hell did I end up here? Despite my uncertainty, I will continue to save and plan for retirement, but I don’t want my decisions to be fear driven. I can make good choices, but ultimately, I am not in control. I’m here for the ride and am actively working to make the most out of that ride. I will not wait for retirement to do all the things I want to do.
I had the opportunity a couple of years ago to attend the Ghostbusters: After Life movie and I thought about that coveted sweatshirt and I remembered a sweeter time in life when my biggest worries involved getting to Southgate Mall in Missoula to shop with someone else’s money (thanks mom). The future was filled with excitement and anticipation back then, and I want those same feelings today as I approach a new phase in my life. I don’t know when that phase will start, nor how long it will last, but hair dye, skinny jeans and all the Disney rides will still be involved.
PS I plan on updating my blog on Saturdays. You can now sign-up for email notifications of a new blog post or you can follow Say Cheez! on Facebook to catch the blog post there. Thanks for your time!
